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“Singleness is the classroom that I learned how to be who I am made to be, how to fight insecurities with truth, how to be loved by Christ first and everyone else second.”

 – Kristin Chez

“Blessed is she who believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her.”

~Luke 1:45

If you are single, chances are you read that with some weight attached to it. Either that sting of “Thanks for reminding me,” or “Oh great, we’re talking about this again.”

Let me start by saying:

I see you & I get you. 

I’m 27 and still checking that box myself.

Of course, I put on a strong face most of the time and boast in my ‘single by choice’ relationship status. Confidently declaring that I’m single because I won’t settle… but that doesn’t mean I always want to be single.

I feel like this is particularly hard in the church.

Being single and Christian is a whole different ball game when you’ve got the expectation of being a “Proverbs 31 woman” and everyone you know is asking “Are you dating anyone? When are you going to settle down? What about you and So&So? I’ve got this nephew/ friend/ coworker/ neighbor that you’d be perfect with!”

Don’t get me wrong, I love Proverbs 31. I want to be that woman someday; but can we all just agree to stop telling women that the only Biblical example of womanhood is in their ability to be a good wife?!

I’ll admit, it’s harder to find then I’d like it to be, but the good stuff is always worth digging for.

Eve was created because “It’s not good for man to be alone.” 

Esther was able to save the Jewish people because she was married to the King.

Leah and Rachel were both married to the same man, but God used Leah in the lineage of Jesus because her husband loved her sister more…

Time and time again, it might seem like the Bible points to marriage as a prerequisite to finding a woman’s purpose.

That is until we get to Mary.

Of course, she did get married in the future, but our story, where our Savior steps onto the scene, it happens when she wasn’t.

God didn’t choose her for her husband.

He chose her for his Son.

Mary was chosen for her character.

She was faithful, brave, obedient, humble… and single.

You haven’t been chosen for your husband.

You have been chosen for his Son.

Your purpose may or may not involve marriage, but it certainly involves the love of Jesus.

The New Testament refers to singleness as a gift and for a long time, I didn’t quite get that. I was treating it like the itchy wool sweater that your grandma bought you in the wrong size — “Thanks for the thought Jesus, but it’s not really the gift I wanted”.

But, singleness isn’t the gift itself; it’s the box that it all comes in.

Singleness is the environment that allows me to be a little bit selfish with my time and spend more of it on Jesus and ministering to the people he places in my life.

Singleness is the catalyst that caused me to find my worth and value in Christ.

Singleness is the classroom that I learned how to be who I am made to be, how to fight insecurities with truth, how to be loved by Christ first and everyone else second.

Becoming Beloved isn’t becoming a good wife.

Becoming Beloved is accepting that you’re already His bride.

Kristin Chez

Beloved Team Member

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